Let’s be honest. For most single moms and dads, Guide to Dating Kids starting dating kids again is often the last thing on a long to-do list. Right after cleaning the whole house, juggling a career, and trying to see friends and family on a regular basis.
Why is dating children such a complicated problem? Guide to Dating Kids In the US there are 13.6 million single parents raising 21 million children. Most of them are single mothers, and single fathers make up 16% of single-parent families. There are two conclusions we can draw from this statistic:
- There are many people who raise their children on their own.
- Most of them are women and men make up a smaller proportion.
So doesn’t that mean dating single parents is incredibly common? Something that happens almost effortlessly if you find yourself at the end of a relationship or after a divorce? Unfortunately, most women, and some men, are too busy to date. Another factor is the guilt they sometimes feel for pursuing their own happiness. This is a big deal because the happiness of parents is crucial to their own well-being and that of their children! Single moms and dads also assume that no one without kids would want to date a single parent with kids. Fortunately, a study by EliteSingles showed that this is an assumption and not true in most cases.
We’ve put together the ultimate guide to dating kids, so single parents across the US can start investing in their future happiness, as well as their children’s.
How do you know when you’re reading to start dating?
Making the transition from being a full-time parent to thinking about yourself as an individual is a struggle for most parents. Having become used to being the centre of the world for your children, you may begin to forget that you are a person with wants and needs instead of just being a simple 24/7 cook, chef, and nurse.
Think about why you want to start dating again. There is no “right time” to start dating again, but think about what motivates you to find someone new right now. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or just dying to get out of the house, maybe you’re craving not a date, but a little help. Recruit some family members to help you look after your children and spend a night on the town with some friends. Asking a new partner to do emotional heavy lifting early in a relationship is unrealistic and can make you settle for just about anyone so you can get a break.
If you really miss sharing experiences with another person, instead of just feeling Mom/Dad’s cabin fever, give yourself permission to start dating again. YourChristianDate
Feel the guilt and do it anyway
As mentioned above, guilt is a huge factor for single parents when considering dating again. Questions ranging from spending money, time or worrying about being judged by other people are common.
People who are dating children should remember that their mental health, well-being, and happiness are very important. If you feel trapped or unhappy, the people you will affect, intentionally or unintentionally, will be your children. Your happiness is paramount to theirs. When in doubt, remember the “Oxygen Mask Principle” of self-care. If you’ve ever flown an aeroplane, you’ll remember the instructions ‘put on your own mask, before putting on someone else’s’. This principle sums up why your own happiness is important. You can’t help anyone unless you help yourself first.
Time, time, time – find it, take it, don’t waste it
So you’ve decided to start dating again, you’re making a smart commitment to advancing your emotional maturity and an investment in your future. Uh, so where exactly do you find the time?
Most single-parent families work full time, maintaining a delicate balance between daycare, babysitters, family, friends, and career. Finding time to meet people can seem like asking for the impossible. However, thanks to the advent of online dating, meeting people can now take very little time!
Online dating means you can meet new people without sacrificing precious time to go to normally fruitless dating events or singles nights. Another big plus is that you can usually say you have kids on your dating profile; At EliteSingles you can even specify that you would like to meet another single parent or would like to meet someone without children. This negates any awkward first date conversations where you have to mention that you have kids.
Take the time to meet many different types of people. When you go back to dating, it can be easy to fall back into old habits and start dating the same types of people. Explore your options and take your time, but don’t waste it. As someone who is dating kids, your time is precious, if someone is constantly cancelling or seems reluctant to commit to plans, then move on to your next match.
How to meet people, offline and online
Offline dating is hard nowadays. Depending on where you live, social events can end up being a small collection of people you’ve known all your life. Conversely, if you live in a big city, people might respond with shock and horror if you try to strike up a conversation with them on the street.
Of course, there are singles events, parents meetings and people still flirt in bars, that will never go out of style. But, if you are looking for a serious relationship, online dating is your best option. It allows you some control that you don’t have in real life and is one of the best tools if you’re thinking of dating kids. You can choose as many preferences as you want a potential partner to have. With EliteSingles, you’ll complete a comprehensive personality test that will help us match you with people who share your goals, values, and desires. If apps are more your style, check out our review of the best dating apps available. YourChristianDate.Com
One piece of advice if you’re dating kids and you’re going to try online dating: don’t have your main image as you and your kid, or just your kid! Many single parents are exceptionally proud of their children, as they should be. However, on a dating website, it is not the norm and tends to put people off. You are an individual, think about what kind of person you want to introduce to the dating world; Check out our tips for making your profile stand out here.
How much should you share with your date and your kids?
So, you’ve got a date, it’s going well, they know you have kids, but how much should you share?
On first dates, try to keep boy chat to a minimum. They’re there to meet you, and while your kids are a package deal, taking baby photos is a no-no. Not every relationship you have will lead to a serious and lasting relationship. So, focus on having fun as yourself first.
After a few dates, dating kids gets a little more complicated due to the introduction of ‘slumber parties’ (for lack of a better word). If you’re not sure where a relationship is going, it’s best to get the kids out of the house if someone is staying overnight. This allows both of you to relax and there are no awkward situations that can arise. Sending your children out of the house may seem drastic, but it is also a protection for your children. Regardless of whether you have young children or surly teenagers, introducing a couple should be done delicately and only if you think the relationship is destined somewhere long-term.
Guide to Dating Kids
Once a few months have passed, although there is no perfect time frame for dating, start thinking about how this person fits into your family’s life. Make it clear to your new partner that you’re a package deal and if he’s serious about maintaining the relationship, it means he has to accept other people too. Keep in mind that your children will bond with this new person. So waiting until both of you are committed to the relationship is the best way to protect them in case it all ends abruptly.
It’s a cliché, but honesty is the best policy, with your children and your partner. When you’re out with kids, it can be easy to forget that this decision is about your happiness. Tell your children that this person makes them happy and explain what this person will look like in their lives. Similarly, tell your partner about your children and how they might react to the situation. By being honest, it’s less likely to be a major transition for everyone involved.
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Ensure your happiness – Guide to Dating Kids
Remember, it’s about going out and getting something you feel is missing. Their well-being is linked to their children, and single parents are particularly great at feeling guilty about not taking care of their children properly. Why? Because it is difficult to be the sole caregiver, whether you are a single mother or a father, taking care of children on your own is difficult. So let yourself have fun and explore the world of online dating, meet new people, have new experiences and find lasting love.
